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Home » Real Estate » Investing » The 5 Stages of Advisor Grief
Investing Real Estate

The 5 Stages of Advisor Grief

May 30, 20256 Mins Read
The 5 Stages of Advisor Grief
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In the wealth management world, “change” isn’t just an inevitable event that occurs as a normal part of business. It’s far more personal than most advisors imagine—that is, until it happens to them.

Change at your firm can come in many forms (e.g., UBS’s compensation plan change, LPL’s acquisition of Commonwealth, KKR’s investment in Janney, etc.), but when it’s significant, it often hits harder than expected. Maybe it’s a sweeping compensation plan overhaul, the retirement of a long-time manager, or an unexpected acquisition. Maybe your team dynamic shifts after a key partner departs. Or perhaps compliance evolves to the point where your ability to serve clients optimally starts to feel constrained. These kinds of distractions can leave even the most seasoned advisors feeling unsettled and unsure of what to do next.

While the catalyst may vary, the end result is the same: Aside from the disruption, there’s often a feeling that the proverbial rug has been pulled out from under you.

In these instances, we counsel advisors to consider change through a strategic lens: “What is the impact on my team, platform, payout, investment menu, risk/compliance, etc.?” Yet, there’s the emotional quotient to consider as well. For better or worse, emotions impact the decisions advisors make in the wake of major disruptions.

Related:The Diamond Podcast for Financial Advisors: Who’s in Control, The Advisor or The Firm?

The emotional journey many advisors go through when facing a major change isn’t all that different from the five stages of grief that an individual experiences with the loss of a friend or family member. Sure, it may sound dramatic, but the parallels are compelling.

The reality is that your business is more than numbers and performance metrics: It’s personal. You’ve built relationships, earned trust, and poured years of effort into something that matters. So, when the foundation starts to shift, it’s natural to feel it deeply.

Let’s break down what the emotional journey looks like and how advisors can navigate each stage productively.

1. Denial: “This doesn’t really affect me. It’ll blow over.”
At first, it’s tempting to downplay change. A new comp structure? Just noise. An acquisition? Business as usual. Many advisors reassure themselves with, “These things happen,” or “Every firm is going through something.” It’s a way of holding on to normalcy, especially when the alternative feels uncertain.

Note that not everyone starts here. Some changes are so immediate and sweeping, like a leadership shake-up or a firm being sold, that denial doesn’t even enter the equation. In those cases, advisors often skip straight to frustration or action.

Related:Focus Taps Former Fisher Tech Lead as CTO

Still, when denial does show up, it’s worth noticing. Because when you dismiss early warning signs, it becomes harder to course-correct later. Giving yourself space to step back and ask, “What’s really happening here and what does it mean for me?” is how clarity begins.

2. Anger: “I’ve built my business here and this is the thanks I get?”
Advisors have every right to feel angry when their world is turned upside down by some outside factor or decision maker. You’ve worked hard to build a business, and you did so under a certain set of expectations.

Suddenly, you’re being asked to do more with less, or navigate new rules that don’t serve your clients. Anger can be clarifying, but only if you use it as fuel for inquiry, not impulsivity.

3. Bargaining: “Maybe if I just ignore this, things will go back to normal.”
At this stage, advisors may try to rationalize the changes or minimize their impact. It’s often done out of loyalty to the team, uncertainty about what’s next, or the hope that things will eventually improve. Or maybe it’s the fear of even considering change. Thoughts like, “I’ll just give it six more months,” can feel like a reasonable compromise.

Sometimes, waiting is the right move, especially when paired with thoughtful reflection and a clear plan for reevaluation. But when it becomes a way to avoid discomfort or difficult decisions, it can keep you stuck in a holding pattern. Bargaining is a natural response to change, but it’s most useful when paired with honest self-assessment.

Related:Caprock Taps Former LPL VP For M&A Role

4. Depression: “I don’t know if I have the energy to start over again.”
This stage can feel heavy. The weight of uncertainty, frustration, or misalignment starts to take its toll—and what once felt like a career filled with purpose may now feel draining or unclear.

It’s common to feel stuck or even disheartened, especially when the firm or environment no longer reflects what initially inspired you. This stage isn’t about making big decisions; it’s about acknowledging how you feel and allowing space to process it. Put another way, sitting with that discomfort is often what opens the door to new clarity.

5. Acceptance: “Change is happening, and maybe that’s a good thing.”
Reaching this stage isn’t just about recognizing what’s changed; it’s about regaining a sense of control. Instead of resisting “what is,” you start to ask, “What’s possible from here?”

Acceptance often brings a surprising side effect: renewed clarity and drive. It’s where uncertainty gives way to perspective, and with that perspective comes the ability to make thoughtful, intentional decisions. For some advisors, that means re-engaging with their current firm in a new way. For others, it may spark fresh ideas, new goals, or the desire to redefine what success looks like.

No matter the outcome, this stage is a reminder that every challenge holds the potential for growth, and that momentum often begins with simply being honest about where you are and what matters most.

Moving Forward

The most successful advisors aren’t the ones who avoid disruption and certainly aren’t the ones who avoid emotion. They’re the ones who learn how to navigate it with clarity, strategy, and a little bit of heart. Because on the other side of discomfort is often a deeper understanding of what you truly want and the confidence to build toward it.

Change is messy and can feel overwhelming. However, when you understand the emotional arc and realize that the grief you’re feeling is real, you begin to gain the clarity to ask the right questions and make thoughtful decisions—and, ultimately, move forward.

view original post on www.wealthmanagement.com

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