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Whether you’re a new or experienced agent, a quick way to kill any negotiation is to slip into “tell and sell” mode rather than asking questions. “Tell and sell” is often about the agent’s need to win or be right. If you find yourself arguing or trying to persuade a client, let go of your need to win and ask a question instead.
Did you know that the person asking questions is the one who controls the negotiation? It’s much more effective than “telling and selling,” especially when the agent “wins” and the client “loses.” If you want happier clients and more closed deals, mastering these 10 negotiation questions is your route to success.
Buyer interview questions
1. Buyers aren’t really liars; you’re just asking the wrong question
If you want to know what your buyers will actually purchase, don’t just ask about location, bedroom count or architectural style.
While those details matter, a better question is:
“What was your favorite house from childhood, and what made it special?”
Asking about features engages the logical part of the buyer’s brain (the cerebral cortex). On the other hand, asking about their favorite house from their childhood taps into deep positive emotional anchors, the real drivers behind most buying decisions. Do show them homes that match their logical criteria, but if you can find a version of that memorable house from their childhood, that’s the house they will probably buy.
2. Do you have any pets? If so, what are their names?
For many buyers, pets are more important than the people around them. By asking about their pets, you discover important information about their lifestyle, such as the need for a fenced yard or proximity to a dog park. You’re also tapping into the strong positive emotions many people feel about their animals, which often leads them to like you even more.
3. What do you like to do for fun when you’re at home?
This question uncovers whether your buyer is a gardener, gourmet cook, or someone who craves peace and quiet. By focusing on what makes them happy, you will be more likely to find the home best suited for their unique lifestyle. This, in turn, deepens their trust in you and strengthens your relationship.
Overcoming objections on showings
4. Objections are buying signs: ‘The move them into the property’ close
Did you know that objections are actually buying signs? Consequently, when a buyer complains about a feature such as the paint color or the carpet, use this question which is a “Move-them-into-the property” close:
“Would you replace it with a different type of wallpaper, or would you paint it?”
No matter how the buyer answers, they are responding as if they already own the property.
Writing the offer
5. Are you going to write an offer on this house? If not, why not?
This is a powerful closing question, but you must obtain permission to use it during the buyer’s interview. Before ever taking any buyer to look at a property, always spend at least 20-30 minutes interviewing the buyers about their lifestyle and what matters most in their next home. Also, given the new commission rules, you must have your buyers sign a buyer’s showing agreement.
The next step is to ask the buyers this question:
“To help me find the right home for you, after each showing, I will ask whether you are going to write an offer on the house that we just saw. If not, please tell me what you liked and disliked about the property. Does that approach work for you?”
Not only does this question allow you to close the buyer after every showing, but it also helps you clarify what your clients are most likely to buy.
6. It’s your choice. What would you like to do?
This may be the most important question in real estate. Trying to control the negotiation can backfire. Always remember, “It’s their house, it’s their mortgage, and it’s their decision.”
A better approach is to present all available options to them, ask if you have missed any other options, and allow them to decide. This builds trust and ensures they feel supported, not pressured. Rather than trying to persuade them, be a conduit of information that supports their decision-making process.
‘Did you know that … ?’ Questions to help close the buyer on writing an offer
7. ‘The turn-up-the-pain’ close
Renters have a choice — continue to pay down their landlord’s mortgage or build equity by paying down the mortgage on their own home. The following closing questions “turn up the pain” by helping buyers realize their money is paying off their landlord’s mortgage.
“How much longer are you willing to keep paying down your landlord’s mortgage?”
You can then follow up with this question:
“Did you also know that a recent NAR study showed that the average homeowner in the U.S. accumulated 40 times more wealth than the average renter?”
8. Fixed mortgage payments for the life of the loan vs. continuous rent increases
Unless renters are living in a rent-controlled unit, renters are always at risk of experiencing a rent increase, often annually. With a 30-year fixed rate mortgage, however, their mortgage payment stays the same.
“Did you know that while your landlord may raise your rents every year, when you have a 30-year fixed rate mortgage your mortgage payment stays the same for 30 years?”
9. 2 benefits homeowners have that renters lack
Soaring insurance rates and property taxes are not just a homeowner problem but also a problem for renters as well. Many renters don’t realize that landlords pass property tax hikes and insurance increases to their tenants unless they’re in a rent-controlled unit.
“You’ve probably heard about rising property taxes and insurance costs. Did you know that landlords typically pass those costs to their renters?”
Follow up by saying:
“Also, did you know as a homeowner rather than a renter you have two other benefits? First, you may be able to take the points and the interest you pay on your mortgage as a write-off on your income tax. Second, you can bundle your auto and home insurance policies together which often results in substantial savings.”
The toughest negotiation situation
10. When your client goes ballistic
Sooner or later, one of your clients will go ballistic about something you’ve done. In fact, they may be mad at you about a mistake someone else made that wasn’t your fault. Here are the steps to follow:
- First, avoid arguing or trying to defend yourself. This will only escalate the situation.
- Immediately ask your client to pause so you can get something to write with and capture exactly what they have to say.
- Take notes on what your client says, pausing to confirm that you have captured what they said correctly.
- By writing down what they say and reading it back to them in a calm voice, you defuse the anger. The most important thing here is that they know you have heard their concerns. This is extremely important if the client is making noises about suing because you will have a written record of what was said.
Next, this powerful question almost always defuses the situation:
“It was never my intention to make you angry. What can I do to fix it?”
Notice that there is no admission that you have done anything wrong. Instead, you want to get this situation fixed and ask for their input on how to do it.
There are hundreds of ways to negotiate more effectively by asking more questions. Whenever you feel yourself becoming defensive, pause for a moment and remember to ask, “What question can I ask to move this situation forward?” rather than “What can I say to persuade them that I’m right?” You’ll be surprised at how well this approach really works.
Bernice Ross, president and CEO of BrokerageUP and RealEstateCoach.com, and the founder of RealEstateWealthForWomen.com is a national speaker, author and trainer with over 1,500 published articles.